Heading into a first date dinner can feel like navigating through a maze of awkward moments.
There you are, across from someone you’re just getting to know, with both tension and emotions running high.
It’s natural to want to sidestep any uncomfortable situations.
Fortunately, there are aspects of this scenario you can control, such as your table manners and a few other critical strategies I’m about to share.
These 8 tips are your toolkit for ensuring a smoother first date experience.
So, let’s delve into these eight essential guidelines that promise to elevate your first-date dynamics. Ready to transform your approach to first dates?
Let’s get started.
1. Be Punctual
First dates are already nerve-wracking. Being fashionably late? Not the best move.
Arriving on time, or even better, five minutes early, sets a positive tone. It shows respect and helps avoid giving your date a bad first impression, which can be hard to overturn.
If you’re late, chances are she’ll probably just leave you or have a horrible taste in her mouth the rest of the night.
Once you start on a bad foot, things will be very hard to recover. Especially with first impressions.
So if you’re trying to make things go right, you’re either pick her up, which I probably don’t recommend, or two, make sure you arrive at the date or location at least five minutes before two.
2. If You Invite, You Pay
Taking responsibility for the bill when you’ve extended the invitation is crucial. It reflects leadership and decisiveness.
And when I’m talking about, you pay. Don’t even hesitate when that bill arrives. Just grab it, get your credit card and pay.
Not only are you going to look like a boss, but it also shows determination and leadership. Given that you’re the one who made that formal invitation, and she’s choosing to go out with you and accept that invitation.
Now, look, I usually only recommend this for the first or a couple of first dates. And I think your date should not assume you are just going to pay. At least, I would like it if my date is at least willing to pay something.
I do think that if you’re the one inviting, you should be the one paying, I might be a little bit old fashioned when it comes to that. However, on the longer scale, if you guys do start dating, and now it’s been two, or three months, and she still hasn’t tried to pay a bill for you, that’s a red flag.
3. Practice Basic Manners
Basic table manners are fundamental. Avoid chewing with your mouth open, picking your teeth, or cleaning cutlery at the table. When you grab your napkin, put it on your lap, and don’t scrape or clean your cutlery as you’re eating. You do these basics.
Such actions can be off-putting. You’re already starting on a great foot by adhering to these simple stuff that can significantly contribute to a positive dining experience.
4. Limit Phone Use
I’m going to need you to stay off your phone. Most guys will use their phone as a crutch, as a social crutch. When things get awkward, well, you don’t know what to talk about.
The first thing you’re going to do is you’re going to get your phone and act as if you’re busy.
But one, you look uninterested.
And two, you’re making her look awkward because you shouldn’t be busy. After all, you’re with her.
The point is that you want to give her attention. When she sees that, all she’s going to assume is that a, this is an awkward guy, this date is awkward and I want to leave, and B, he doesn’t even respect me.
This is why, look, when things get awkward, don’t get to your phone first. Instead, memorize anywhere from five to ten good questions and ask her stuff.
And I’m not talking about: “What’s your favorite color?”
No, I’m talking about deep questions that get that conversation flowing.
So whenever there is that awkward period, you can easily go into that bank of questions and really get her to open up so you guys can connect on a deeper level.
5. Optimal Seating Arrangement
Choosing to sit next to rather than directly across from your date can alleviate pressure, especially if you’re nervous. This setup allows for easier conversation and can make both parties feel more comfortable and relaxed.
Sit next to her rather than directly across. This can alleviate pressure, especially if you’re nervous.
If you’re very nervous, if you know you’re going to be nervous, especially your first couple of dates, the worst thing you can do is sit right in front of her because when you’re right in front of her, she’s looking right at you like you don’t have any time to breathe or to think, which makes you feel even more awkward.
But if you both are sitting next to each other looking forward, you guys get a break.
Like a visual break, or at least you do, which gives you time to think. You don’t feel as much pressure on you and you can engage her.
You’re going to look more relaxed, more calm, more confident
6. Lead conversation and maintain eye contact
Confidence is key. Maintain strong eye contact and steer the conversation with humor. Acknowledging any awkwardness and navigating through it with laughter can help both of you feel more at ease and connected.
See, when you have great eye contact, even if conversations are awkward, she’s still perceiving you as a confident dude. And then when you lead conversations with some humor, it kind of eases all that tension that you both are feeling, especially if you acknowledge what you both are going through at that moment.
See, so many guys will feel awkward, get to an awkward silence, and they want to avoid the elephant in the room.
And it’s that you both are complete strangers and it’s a little bit awkward.
So acknowledging you’re both laughing about it and then proceeding with one of the questions is a great way to lighten up the evening. You look confident and you keep it rolling.
7. Respect service staff
How you treat service staff reflects your character. Demonstrating respect and gratitude towards them not only is a moral duty but also influences your date’s perception of you.
Poor treatment of staff can quickly sour the mood. Even if they’re not helping you out and they’re having a bad day, don’t curse them out, and don’t talk bad about them because all she’s going to see, is this guy’s a tool bag. This guy is full of vanity.
That’s the last thing you want. So on top of it being a moral obligation, it’s the quickest way to ruin your date.
8. Drink moderately
Managing your alcohol intake is important. Getting tipsy or drunk on a first date can leave a poor impression. Displaying self-control and moderation can be seen as attractive qualities, showcasing leadership and responsibility.
By adhering to these eight rules, you’re more likely to have a successful first date, potentially laying the groundwork for a positive ongoing relationship.
9. Take care of your grooming
Grooming for a first date is straightforward: it’s about looking clean, neat, and putting in the effort.
Get a fresh haircut, ensure you’re freshly showered, with facial hair trimmed or shaved, and nails clean.
Dress in clothes that fit well and reflect your style, ensuring you’re comfortable. Also, apply cologne the right way, so your date will notice your good scent.
Make sure to do a quick check before leaving the house – like a final mirror glance. And remember, good grooming is key to feeling confident and making a positive first impression.
10. Show Genuine Interest and Listen Actively
Engaging genuinely in the conversation and showing real interest in your date’s stories, opinions, and feelings is crucial. Active listening involves more than just hearing words; it means paying attention to body language, asking follow-up questions, and demonstrating that you value what they’re sharing with you.
This approach helps create a deeper connection and makes your date feel valued and understood. It’s not just about waiting for your turn to speak but about building a meaningful dialogue where both parties feel heard and appreciated.
And remember, a successful date is not just about sharing your own stories but also showing enthusiasm and curiosity about your partner’s life and thoughts.
